Circumcision is one of the many practices which have their basis in cultural bias, not sound reasoning or medical facts. In this regard, your desire for your son to "look like you" is in no way different from a Maori tribesman who expects his son to get the same ritual scarification and facial tattoos that the old man has. In fact, the practice of circumcision historically was for exactly this purpose of tribal group identification. Not that I have anything against ritual body decoration, or the preservation of cultural identity, mind you. It's just that I don't think that irreversible body alterations should be forced onto an infant who has no say in the matter, just because it's what was done to you, and your father before you, etc.

While you might assume that your wife is against this only because she wants to save your child from the pain of the initial procedure, you might do well to ask her to explain more fully her reasons and to listen carefully with an open mind. In this particular time and culture it is far more common for men to just go along with what they were brought up with, believing that they are "right" because they are mostly in agreement with the idea "that's how things are done." Many women have long ago learned that it is better to trust their own sense of what is appropriate, reasonable, and caring when it comes to the wellbeing of their families than to rely on arbitrary cultural attitudes or unfounded "expert" advice. Your wife may have given this some serious thought and have some very sound reasons and/or insight behind her position, where you might be coming at this from a more emotional basis.

Talk it over with your wife, read some of the research referenced here on the actualities of living uncircumcised vs. circumcised, and give it some deeper consideration than just wanting to have this in common with your son. Remember, you can always get matching haircuts or sneakers later!

Circumcision Information and Resource Pages
http://www.cirp.org

A long list of links to great circumsision articles, essays, and information
http://www.greentit.com/blog/CategoryView.aspx?category=No-Circ

Evan's Answer A: When our first son was born, we had him circumcised because, at least for my part, it didn’t occur to me to not do it. By the time my wife became pregnant again, she had learned quite a lot about circumcision (along with other parenting things!) and felt strongly that she didn’t want to do it again.

This brought out quite a strong reaction from me. For one, I felt it was my decision – I’m the Dad, I know about penises and she doesn’t. I wanted my boys to look like me. I am part Jewish. For all of these reasons, I became fixed on it – and my wife was equally fixed on not doing it because 1) it caused unnecessary pain; 2) studies had shown it provided no health benefits; 3) the U.S. is one of the only countries in the entire world that has institutionalized circumcision. Most human beings don’t do it; 4) the foreskin, the part that gets sliced off, represents approximately 60% (I think?) of the nerve cells on the penis; and 5) even in the U.S., the percentage of males being circumcised has decreased significantly (I don’t know the exact number but encourage you to look it up).

What did we do? We started with an ultrasound. After all; no boy, no issue! Of course, he was a boy so we went to see a psychologist/counselor to help us talk it through because we were stuck.

In the end, I agreed to read some of the information and studies as well as watch a video of a circumcision being performed. The whole experience freaked me out. It was horrible.

In my case, I realized that A) my son “looking like me” is not defined by whether he is circumcised or not; B) more and more children are not circumcised in this country so, unlike when I was a kid, he won’t “stand out” in a negative way; C) my children’s bodies are fine just how they are and don’t need alteration as a prerequisite to joining the world; D) there are no inherent health issues related to circumcision – except that there are more instances of infant infection after circumcision than in the absence of circumcision (I encourage you to look it up); and E) If cutting his penis is more about me than him, that’s not a good enough reason for me.

But that’s just me. I wish I could undo my oldest boy’s circumcision. The other issue – which is actually one of the most significant to me now – is that, unlike tattoos or body piercing, babies have no say in this decision. And, it’s irreversible.

resources:
http://www.nocirc.org