Barbie
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What about Barbie? It is perhaps the single most heinous reflection of sexism in childhood. But my daughter loves her, and I strongly believe that her creative play is her business, so what can I do? A:
The Lecture and Desist Method
The Grrrl Power Method
The I-Don't-Like-It-But-It's-Your-Life Method
So how do you begin the Barbie dialogue? Take your daughter to the toy store (or if that would too overwhelming, get a department store "wish book"). Tell her that you're not going to buy toys, you're going to look at how they sell toys. Start in the "girl" aisle and take notes. What does she see? Lots of pink. Lots of toy make-up, baby dolls, bottles (blech!) and fancy dress-up clothes. Show her the packaging, how the girls are looking starry-eyed at their toys, how most are white (unless the doll is specifically of color), have blue eyes and blond hair. Now head over to the "boy" aisle. Suddenly, the colors have changed to black and dark blue. There are racing cars, trucks, guns and ugly monsters. The boys on the packages could be related to the girls, but they're active. They're pushing those cars, pointing those guns. Now sit down with her somewhere and talk about the expectations that toy companies create for kids. Tell her that you want her to be author of her own expectations. Tell her why you think Barbie contributes to the dumbing down of girls. Now let her know how you've decided to handle Barbie at your house. Be warned, if your daughter is anything like my sister, she may be too fixated on the rhinestone pumps at the toy store to hear a word you're saying. The method that works best for you will depend on how deeply your daughter adores her Barbies and how deeply you despise them. Remember, the only thing harder than growing up in a sexist world is raising kids in that sexist world. Your daughter is ahead of the game -- no matter how you resolve the great Barbie dilemma -- because you're starting this important dialogue early. Good luck! |