Growing
All The Timetm
Information For Mindful
Family Living
Volume 1, Issue 6, April 1999
The newsletter of Wears The Babytm,
distributing cool and
useful goodies for nurtured children and mindful family
life.
Inside this issue
Feature Article
– getting it out there
Still Thinking
– book excerpts to consider
Papa
– views on fatherhood
Sites We Like
– cool web sites
Buy, Sell & Barter
– goods ‘n’ services
AND MORE...
Still Thinking...
good books
From Peace Is Every Step, by Thich Nhat Hanh
| Breathing Room
We have a room for everything -- eating, sleeping, watching TV -- but we have no room for mindfulness. I recommend that we set up a small room in our homes and call it a "breathing room," where we can be alone and practice just breathing and smiling, at least in difficult moments. That little room should be regarded as an Embassy of the Kingdom of Peace. It should be respected, and not violated by anger, shouting, or things like that. When a child is about to be shouted at, she can take refuge in that room. Neither the father nor the mother can shout at her anymore. She is safe within the grounds of the Embassy. Parents sometimes will need to take refuge in that room, also, to sit down, breathe, smile, and restore themselves. Therefore, that room is for the benefit of the whole family. I suggest that the breathing room be decorated very simply, and not be too bright. You may want to have a small bell, one with a beautiful sound, a few cushions or chairs, and perhaps a vase of flowers to remind us of our true nature. You or your children can arrange flowers in mindfulness, smiling. Every time you feel a little upset, you know that the best thing to do is to go to that room, open the door slowly, sit own, invite the bell to sound - in my country we don't say "strike" or "hit" a bell -- and begin to breathe. The bell will help not only the person in the breathing room, but the others in the house as well. Suppose your husband is irritated. Since he has learned the practice of breathing, he knows that the best thing is to go into that room, sit down, and practice. You may not realize where he has gone; you were busy cutting carrots in the kitchen. But you suffer also, because you and he just had some kind of altercation, the anger is translated into the movement. Suddenly, you hear the bell, and you know what to do. You stop cutting and you breathe in and out. You feel better, and you may smile, thinking about your husband, who knows what to do when he gets angry. He is now sitting in the breathing room, breathing and smiling. That's wonderful; not many people do that. Suddenly a feeling of tenderness arises, and you feel much better. After three breaths, you begin to cut the carrots again, but this time, quite differently. Your child, who was witnessing the scene, knew that a kind of tempest was going to break. She withdrew to her room, closed the door, and silently waited. But instead of a storm, she heard the bell, and she understood what was going on. She feels so relieved, and she wants to show her appreciation to her father. She enters and sits down beside him to show her support. That helps him very much. He already felt ready to go out - he is able to smile now - but since his daughter is sitting there, he wants to sound the bell again for his daughter to breathe. In the kitchen, you hear the second bell and you know that cutting carrots may not be the best thing to do now. So, you put down your knife and go into he breathing room. Your husband is aware that the door is opening and you are coming in. So although he is now all right, since you are coming, he stays on for some time longer and sounds the bell for you to breath. This is a beautiful scene. If you are very wealthy, you can buy a precious painting by van Gogh and hang it in your living room. But it will be less beautiful than this scene in the breathing room. The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions. I know of families where the children go into a breathing room after breakfast, sit down, and breathe, "in-out-one," "in-out-two," "in-out-three," and so on up to ten, and then they go to school. If your child doesn't wish to breathe ten times, perhaps three times is enough. Beginning the day this way is very beautiful and very helpful to the whole family. If you are mindful in the morning and try to nourish mindfulness throughout the day, you may be able to come home at the end of the day with a smile, which proves that mindfulness is still there. I believe that every home should have one room for breathing. Simple practices like conscious breathing and smiling are very important. They can change our civilization. |
Wears The Babytm News and Specials
| News
So much news this month! The Week of the Young Child is April 18 through 24. During this week, let's all find some way to honor our young children for their many gifts to us. The Daily News is now available at Wears The Baby. You can check
it out at http://www.wearsthebaby.com/newspage.htm
Kids' Work, our page of links for kids, has grown! You can see the new additions here. Please email us your favorite kids' web sites and we'll check them out too. Our wooden toy selection is growing! By next month, we will have a much larger selection for you to see, and an introductory sale on everything! If you would like to be notified by email when these items arrive, click here and tell us! Bravado Bras were on sale last month for $25. We've decided
to keep them low for good. This month, they go to a regularly discounted
price of $27 (28 for double-plus).
Our business is still young, so we cannot keep a stock of every
size in every fabric. But because we would like to be able to offer you
the same selection as other Bravado sellers, we will be placing one order
each month, during the last week of the month, and shipping to you at that
time.
Soft Stars Shoes are now available at our store. These are the same sweet and soft soled shoes from Natural Baby Catalog, at a less prohibitive price. Our color selection is huge! Here they are. Specials for March Simply Delicious Nursingwear - 10% off everything! Nurture III Electric Breastpump - $10 off the regular price of $99 Baby and Toddler Won't-Kick-Off Booties - Two pair, $7 - mix and match size and color (while they last) |
Papa
views on fatherhood
by Evan Scott
| A familiar intonation in our house these days is, “Hey, Dad, watch
this!” It’s been this way for some time now but recently, Benjamin has
upped the ante. I get everything from sideshow acts where he roller blades
across our foyer and dining room (and who’s with me here: would this have
even been allowed in 1975?) to dark humor like coaxing his little brother
to say “peanut butter” and laughing when he says, “pee’n buh.”
The other day he held up a “whole” bottle filled with milk. A whole bottle is the 8oz, tall size, different than the little 4 oz. jobs. He announced that he had filled it with milk himself. And no spills. My first reaction was to notice the juxtaposition of his milestone of getting a gallon carton of milk and pouring it into the bottle, both containers having small openings, and the fact that he was filling up a baby bottle because he enjoys and takes comfort in drinking from bottles when he is sleepy. He’s growing up, but not too fast. I remember a remark my wife made some time ago in quoting a parenting book. She said that when toddlers/young children ask for space and autonomy, what they mean is 18 inches of space and 30 seconds of autonomy. I like this idea because it reminds me that growing up is not an all or nothing proposition. One does not announce his independence one day and never again require or desire assistance. And more than that, just because my kid reaches a milestone on a Tuesday, doesn’t mean I must hold him to it from then on (Well, you tied your shoes yesterday so…). Often in my own life experience, I recognize the fatigue that comes from learning new things or having a challenging week. Benjamin is doing just what he is supposed to do: he learns some and
regroups, learns some more, checks in, and then learns some more. Most
of the time I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, which is watch and
catch and encourage…but mostly just watch because that’s, mostly, what
he’s asking me to do.
|
Activism in a minute
 |
"Getting Wise to 'Babywise'" is another article by Katie Granju, revealing an abusive and increasingly popular set of parenting techniques promoted by Gary Ezzo as biblical methods. Many pediatricians (and many Christians) have spoken out against him, yet parents continue to believe him. If you haven't heard of Babywise, or Gary Ezzo, or if you have but missed this article, go there! If someone you know is considering these methods, please firmly and lovingly encourage them to reconsider. |
Site Seeing
sites we like...
Family
Dharma Connections is devoted to Buddhist families with children and
others interested in sharing
Dharma and Buddhism with children. This page doesn't get updated
often, but there are some really nice
ideas in the links at the bottom of the home page. They're kind of
small and take a little time to load, so keep
waiting.
The Vegetable
Patch has beautiful photos of a family's well-loved veggie patches,
as well as a great deal of
information about organic gardening. Worth taking a peek even if you
won't be gardening - quite a resource
if you will.
Buy, Sell, & Barter
goods ‘n’ services
Jodi Harris - Cincinnati - 513-731-7013
Offerings
Knitting and other craft work instruction
Wishes
Roto-tiller
Internet instruction
Rose Vanden-Eynden
- Cincinnati - 513-956-7827
Offerings
Licensed Massage Therapy
Energy and Spiritual Healing
Intuitive readings and psychic consultations
Classes in mediumship development
Wishes
Astrological charts and interpretations for the family
Custom picture framing
Wallpapering and house painting services
Bean/water table for children
Train table for children
Melissa Fannen, Cincinnati
– 531-3009
Offerings
Nutrition consulting
Wishes
Toys made from natural materials, new & used
The Robeson-Jacobsen Family,
Cincinnati – (513) 792-0144
Offerings
Healthy homemade bread and other baked goods
Graphic design services (bus. cards, brochures, etc)
Puppet shows for birthday parties
Organic produce
Wishes
Red checked picnic table cloth
Beeswax candles
Haircuts
Used clothing–adults and children
The Scott Family, Cincinnati
– (513) 631-2694
Offerings
Gymnastics instruction
Internet training
Proofreading
wooden toys and furniture (play kitchens, etc)
book: Heart of a Woman by Maya Angelou NEW
book: Spiritual Family NEW
slings
kidslings
General computer help
A deck of cards, "52 Ways to Simplify Your Life"
Many children's paperback and board books
Resume consulting
Web page creation NEW
Cool mist humidifier NEW
Wishes
Car repairs and maintenance
Some different children's paperback and board books for the
car
Modern dance lessons for children
Used Lego and Playmobil
Steam humidifier (hot) NEW