Growing All the Time

Volume 1, Issue 9, July 1999
The newsletter of Wears The Baby^tm, offering inspiration, information and useful things for nurtured children and mindful family life.
Please see our mission.

Inside this issue
Feature Article
– getting it out there
Still Thinking
– book excerpts to consider
Sites We Like
– cool web sites
Buy, Sell & Barter
– goods 'n' services

AND MORE...

We were aiming for something really practical this month. Hope it helps some of you!

Flexible Work Arrangements - Approaching Your Employer
from Suite101.com

If you've been toying with the idea of talking to your employer regarding more flexible work arrangements, you are not alone. Like many parents, you crave to spend more time with your family, but cannot afford to take time off to do so. Working out a more flexible work arrangement may be just something that you have dreamed about doing. But now, more than ever, employers are willing to adapt to employee needs in order to have a more productive work force. What follows is a step by step guide to plan your proposal, and to get it accepted. Because if you don't try, you'll never know....!

1) Determine an arrangement best suited to your needs.

2) Find out about your employer's policies. Read over any policy and procedure manuals that exist; perhaps someone has already done the work for you and there is a set policy as to flexible work hours. If not, talk to a representative from your human resources department (if your company is large enough to warrant one). Or talk to long term employees who may have a better idea as to what is acceptable and what is not within your company's culture.

3) Determine who makes the final decision regarding flexible work options at your workplace. You will probably already know this, but it does not hurt to double check. This is the person that you will be creating your presentation for. Knowing who this is before you start creating a proposal can really help you to target the issues most important to you and your employer.

4) Learn from others who have already taken the same route. If you found anyone else who is doing this or who has attempted in the past from questions #2, talk to them. Ask them what worked, and what didn't, and why or why not their proposal was accepted. Once again, if the company that you work for is a large one, talk to your human resources department first so save lots of time and energy.

5) Determine if your job really adaptable. Some jobs are just not adaptable to certain flexible work schedules, and you need to really think this idea through before going any further. For example, a customer service representative would have a very difficult time working from home, unless their job was spent mostly on the phone. However, more flexible work arrangements (such as working 10 hours a day, four days one, four days off) could be possible.

6) Approach your supervisor informally first. Start asking your immediate supervisor about flexible work arrangements. Letting this person know that you are interested in advance is a good idea; keeping them informed of your progress is even better.

7) Create a written proposal. To be taken seriously, you will need to have a written proposal to hand to the decision maker. This allows for the decision maker more control, because he or she can refer to your idea at any time, and can use it when asking for approval from his or her decision maker. When creating your proposal, you need to include all of the following:

Introduction
This needs to be a brief, to the point statement as to why you feel this is necessary. (lower commute time, save money, etc.)
Your Proposed Schedule
What will your hours be? Where will you work, and when? Be as specific as possible, and don't forget to add any advantages to your company. Some advantages include increased productivity, less commute, more space at the office, keeping a trained/skilled employee (lower training costs), less absenteeism, lower turnover, reduced burn out, and personnel coverage during non traditional business hours.
Availability Issues
1) how will your employer, or the people that you connect with regularly at work contact you?
2) How will you attend meetings, conferences, training events?
3) emergency situations
4) follow up activities, i.e.: phone calls
Redefine Your Job Duties
If there is any redefinition needed, it needs to be addressed here. Make sure that you keep desired tasks in your job description, while ensuring that your employer's need for you is not lowered in any way. If any of your job duties will need to de reassigned, how will this happen? Any changes or adaptations with respect to salary and/or benefits are sure to be noticed - make detailed notes of them in this section of your presentation.
Cost Savings
Specifically, what are the proposed savings for the company? This one section holds real clout, so be sure to research it accordingly.
1) savings from salary & benefits (if any)
2) reduced overhead (if any)
3) lowered benefits (if any) - if say, you are on a spouse's plan
Performance Evaluations
When, how, and where? How will your employer be able to monitor your work if you are not in the office, or are not there as much. Also, if this is a job share, will you be evaluated individually, or as a team?
Trial Period
State a specific time frame for a trial period. Ensure that it is enough time to iron out an bugs, but not so long that your employer feels there is no way out if it does not work out. supporting information
Any supporting information that can be found needs to be added at the end of the presentation. For example:
1) where a similar program has been tried the results
2) list of other companies with contact names, if applicable
3) copies of reports discussing the pros and cons
4) short bibliography
5) newspaper and magazine articles featuring flexible work arrangements

Be sure to keep your proposal succinct, providing the information that your employer needs to make an informed decision. Keep extra information on hand, just in case, though. If your employer asks for more information, take that as a good sign, and then provide it to them immediately. And if, after all of this work, your proposal still is not taken favorably, ask why. It could be that the company you work for is undergoing massive changes soon, and they are scared that the effort put into this project will be put to waste. Perhaps a similar plan is already in the works, or maybe there isn't a reason at all. But, if flexible work arrangements are truly important to you, then you owe it to yourself to try, and see for yourself just how close you can make this type of arrangement a reality for you.

Good luck!

*** YOUR AD HERE ***

Still Thinking...
good books

From How to Raise A Healthy Child... In Spite of Your Doctor,
by Robert Mendelsohn, M.D.

How can I assert that parents, with no medical training, are better able than pediatricians to meet most of the health needs of their children? Simply because you are willing and able to give your children time and attention, and your doctor is not. The most important elements in the diagnosis of illness are behavior change, appearance, and the medical history of the child. As the parent, you are extremely sensitive to your child's behavior patterns, quick to note a change in his or her appearance, and totally familiar with the child's medical history, your own, and probably those of your parents as well. The typical pediatrician, whose assembly line spews out 30, 40, or even 50 patients a day, doesn't know your child as you do and has neither the time nor the inclination to learn. All of his technology - his tests and shorts and x-rays and drugs and theory - in most instances are no substitute for the commonsense care that you, as an informed parent, can provide.
That's why your pediatrician can never be the primary authority on whether your child is sick and why you should never let him be. You are far better qualified to judge the physical condition of your child than your doctor is, simply because you know the child better. You live with your kids and observe their behavior and appearance with interest and concern, day by day.
Granted, there are infrequent illnesses of critical nature for which competent medical treatment is essential, but in the case of children they are the exception rather than the rule. The obvious question is "How can parents tell which ones are and which are not?"
The answer is that you can't always tell, and for that matter neither can your doctor. However, when you have finished reading this book you will be able to determine the seriousness of most of your child's ailments and will need to consult a doctor only in the limited number of instances when you are in doubt.

Wears The Baby^tm News
and Specials

News

Wears The Baby Community forums are up and running! Come and introduce yourself in our guestbook forum - we can't wait to get to know you who are our regular visitors, and for you all to meet each other. Here is some of the current discussion:

My four year old eats junk... How do I make food and eating a non-coercive experience without risking health problems and difficult days?

My friend just received a sling and needs help getting started - suggestions? Anyone else have a rough start wearing baby?

Wears The Baby has a new look - we'd love your feedback.

Dear Dads,
I want to give our new baby a bottle, but
we've been advised not to. What could it hurt?
In our new Ask the Dads column, you can see what our two resident fathers had to say. Do you have a question for the Dads, or the Feminist Mother? Please submit it!
http://www.wearsthebaby.com/askdads.htm

Mistakes, typos, broken links? Please let us know!

Specials for July

Flap-a-doodle Reversible Sunhats - Only $9! (were $12.00)
http://www.wearsthebaby.com/kidsclothing.htm

Simply Delicious Nursingwear - HUGE SALE!
http://www.wearsthebaby.com/simplydelicious.htm

Soft Star Sandals - always low price and just in time for summer. We'll match any price on Soft Stars!
http://www.wearsthebaby.com/shoepage.htm

Baby and Toddler Won't-Kick-Off Booties - Two pair, $7 - mix and match size and color. Get a gift from us with every bootie order!
http://www.wearsthebaby.com/shoepage.htm

Papa
by Evan Scott

What does it mean to mentor or apprentice my children? And I don't want to hear anything about "being there" for my children. Of course we all want to be there. Specifically, though, does apprenticing mean that I teach them a specific trade, like pipe fitting or carpentry? I don't know those skills. I don't have a trade at all. I can change a car tire but I will never "apprentice" my son on that. I don't celebrate the artistic expression inherent in the task. I don't. I cook once in a while. I do laundry every week. I mow the grass and do general yard work.

For me, apprenticing and mentoring are two separate things. I can mentor my children by sitting with them while they draw or play and respond to their questions or help them with what they are doing. Mentoring also means taking them places to have new experiences. My wife goes to the library all the time (when I went with my kids a few weeks ago, the librarian perked up and smiled at me, "You must be Amy's husband," she said, noticing our sons) and the variety of books she brings home fosters interest in a lot of different things and activities that she and I can do with our children. I take them to the French Park creek from time to time so we can look at
rocks and water spiders and that gooey stuff that grows on the creek bed. And, of course, as you read about previously, I began my coaching career this Spring for Benjamin's soccer team.

Apprenticing my children is looking like it will be a more difficult task. Mostly because I think of apprenticing as focused mentoring - finding a particular expertise and helping the child learn all about it. I am relatively good with woodworking but I don't actually do much of it. I daydream about it.

What I realize is that apprenticing is an old idea that is losing its relevance. For as far back as human history goes until about the turn of the 20th century and the onset of the Industrial Age, fathers apprenticed their sons and mothers apprenticed their daughters in whatever jobs and trades they were engaged. Today, there are still some parents who have the opportunity to or the necessity for apprenticing their children but most of us have to create a master/apprentice relationship on purpose rather than
respond to a 'natural' life circumstance. In my family, for instance, I don't think anyone knows how to cook my grandmother's Chicken Paprikash (Paprikas Czirka for you Hungarians). She died in 1995.

I am still thinking about how I can apprentice my children.

If you'd like to read more from Evan, see "Ask the Dads" at http://www.wearsthebaby.com/askdads.htm

Site Seeing
sites we like...

This is Roxanne, and she is one hot mama. She is also the owner of a new and hysterically wise site called "One Hot Mama." Check out the section called "The Skinny" - and be sure to look at some of the first truly attractive nursingwear around.
http://www.onehotmama.com

Breastfeeding.com is a wonderful site for all of it's information, but we are particularly excited about the new video clips of various breastfeeding positions, latch-on techniques, and hunger cues. This is a wonderful resource for anyone who counsels breasteeding moms, or for any new mom wanting to see the way "good" latch should look.
http://www.breastfeeding.com

Buy, Sell, & Barter
goods 'n' services

Annette Frontz- Gettysburg, PA
wishes:
book "The Holistic Pediatrician"
pressure cooker for canning
Print Shop Deluxe for MAC
offerings:
voice and piano lessons
cross stitch supplies and charts

Anthony Prausa
Wishes:
wooden puzzles
Offerings:
over the shoulder baby holder

Victoria Gilmore - Tuscon, AZ
Offerings:
Handsmocked dresses
handsmocked infant daygowns
handsmocked bonnets
handsmocked bibs
handsmocked or knitted booties
smocking lessons
pleating for smockers
Wishes:
newer textbooks for high school math, science and history
haircuts
classic novels for highschool learning
computer learning tools and games for teenager

Margaret Rizzuto Smith, Tiverton RI
401 624.6215
Wishes:
Gardening help
Outdoor plant cuttings/divisions
Garden statuary
Offering
Yoga for beginners, intermediate, pre & post-natal
Offerings:
Yoga for beginners, intermediate, pre & post-natal

Ali in Woodstock NY
Wishes:
Arms Reach Co. sleeper
sit and stand stroller
Nikki sm. diaper covers
wooden Waldorf type blocks
wooden play kitchen items (fruits and veggies, the kind that can be cut)
wooden baby spoon and plate
Linnea in Monet's garden (video)
Waldorf type dolls
will pay shipping.
Offerings:
New 24 month onesies, tie dyed purple with red heart in center,
very pretty and professionally done, usually retail 22.00
2-4 yr. tie dye T's, new as seen in Talbots catalog

Amber Simmons - Austin, TX
Offerings
Tarot Readings
Wishes
plain white 100% cotton infant clothing

Jodi Harris - Cincinnati 731-7013
Offerings
Knitting and other craft work instruction
Wishes
Roto-tiller
Internet instruction

Rose Vanden-Eynden - Cincinnati - 513-956-7827
Offerings
Licensed Massage Therapy
Energy and Spiritual Healing
Intuitive readings and psychic consultations
Classes in mediumship development
Wishes
Astrological charts and interpretations for the family
Custom picture framing
Wallpapering and house painting services
Bean/water table for children
Train table for children

Melissa Fannen, Cincinnati – 531-3009
Offerings
Nutrition consulting
Wishes
Toys made from natural materials, new & used

The Robeson-Jacobsen Family, Cincinnati – (513) 792-0144
Offerings
Healthy homemade bread and other baked goods
Graphic design services (bus. cards, brochures, etc)
Puppet shows for birthday parties
Organic produce
Wishes
Red checked picnic table cloth
Beeswax candles
Haircuts
Used clothing - adults and children

The Scott Family, Cincinnati – (513) 631-2694
Offerings
Gymnastics instruction
Internet training
Proofreading
wooden toys and furniture (play kitchens, etc)
book: Heart of a Woman by Maya Angelou
book: Spiritual Family
slings
kidslings
General computer help
A deck of cards, "52 Ways to Simplify Your Life"
Many children's paperback and boardbooks
Resume consulting
Web page creation
Wishes
Car repairs and maintenance
Some different chidren's paperback and board books for the car
Modern dance lessons for children
Used Lego and Playmobil

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