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I know how hard it can be to approach a friend or relative who has already made her mind up about breastfeeding. She may not welcome your concern and tune you out as soon as you bring the subject up.  Or maybe she's already dismissed you as a "radical" because you're nursing a toddler when she can't even imagine nursing a baby.  This little article is meant to be friendly, but direct, way to start a conversation.  It offers answers for the common reasons mothers give for not nursing their babies.  So print this out and pass it on.

Reason #1: "I want other people to be able to feed the baby."

Why?  Other people can do everything else for the baby but breastmilk is the one thing that only you can provide.  Wouldn't you rather pass off diaper changes?

Reason #2: "I don't want the baby to be stuck with the baby all of the
time."

Your presence will be vital to your child no matter how you choose to feed her; breastfeeding will just help the rest of the world accept that.  From the moment that child is out of your womb, there will be people trying to take her from you.  First the doctors and nurses will want to take her to the nursery.  Then the grandparents will sweep in with offers to babysit. Then friends will be bugging you to go to boring parties where babies aren't welcome.  Breastfeeding is a great excuse to say, "Stop, hold on. This is my baby and I need to be with her."  Trust me, fifty years from now you won't be saying, "Gosh I sure wish I'd seen that first-run blockbuster on the big screen" but you might be saying, "Why didn't I spend more time with my baby?"  And once breastfeeding is well-established, you can look into introducing a bottle of pumped breastmilk for those times when you
need or want to be away.

Reason #3:   "Breastfeeding ties you down."

In fact, just the opposite.  Let's say you're out hiking.  You're having a marvelous time.  You decide to go an extra mile.  Oops!  Gotta turn around -- the baby's hungry and you're out of formula!  Or you could just latch the baby on and keep on climbing up that mountain.  There's no need to look for clean water to mix
the formula, no carrying heavy cans full of the pre-made stuff.  Your breasts are portable and are always ready with nicely prepared sterile breastmilk stored at the perfect temperature.

Reason #4:   "I was formula-fed and I turned out fine!"

Maybe, maybe not; we'll never know how much healthier you might have been
if you had been nursed.  The truth is, formula fed children are at a higher risk for allergies, colitis, diabetes, ear infections, sudden infant death syndrome, certain childhood cancers and whatever cold is hitting your neighborhood this winter.  There have also been studies that show that breastfed babies are likely to have better dental health than their formula-fed counterparts.  So even if a formula-fed child is "fine," she may not reach her highest health potential.  Besides, do you want your child to score lower on an IQ test because you chose to give her formula?

Reason #5:   "Are you saying moms who bottle feed are bad mothers?"

Nope, but let's get down to the nitty-gritty here.  Breastfeeding produces a hormone called prolactin in the nursing mother.  This helps her relax and feel all comfy-cozy and loving towards the nursling in her arms. Bottlefeeding mothers are, quite frankly, missing out on this basic biological fact.  For those times when you're feeling fed-up, overwhelmed or just plain exhausted, there's nothing like taking a little prolactin-break with your baby to help you calm down.

Reason #6:   "My husband/boyfriend/partner thinks breastfeeding is weird.

Whether you call it Mother Nature or God or evolution, your breasts were meant to nurture your off-spring.  Our culture seems to have forgotten this but our babies sure remember.  Tell your partner to get over it.  And hand him this article if he's still complaining because it's likely that he'll want what's best for his baby, too.

Reason #7:   "You know, formula is so advanced these days; it's really as good as breastmilk."

You're not reading the backs of formula cans in your spare time, are you? Formula can't be as good as breastmilk.  That's like saying fat-free, sugar-free frozen yogurt is as good as ice cream.  Sure, you could develop a taste for it, but who would want to?  Breastmilk is the real thing and formula is just a (not so cheap) substitute.

Breastmilk is a living substance.  It's always changing to meet your baby's nutritional needs and it's custom made for your child.  If your baby is born prematurely then your body will produce breastmilk that's higher in protein to meet her needs.  Isn't that amazing?  Breastmilk is also full of antibodies.  In other words, if someone sneezes on you while you're riding the bus, your body will create antibodies to fight the cold that sneeze produces and then will pass those antibodies off in your breastmilk for your baby.  This is why sometimes a mom will get sick but her baby won't. A child's immune systems isn't mature until she's about five or six years old so it's vital that she get breastmilk for as long as you both are willing.

Nursing babies are the gourmets of the future.  Breastmilk is enhanced by your diet.  If you love garlic, your nursling is learning to love it, too. Formula is the same old thing, day in and day out.

Breastmilk is the most perfectly digestible food for your baby.  Don't buy those formula commercials that talk about how their specially blended pseudo-perfect protein recipe for sensitive tummies makes for happier babies; sensitive babies need breastmilk, period, and anything else may actually be harmful.

Get this, the World Health Organization recommends that if you're not going to nurse your baby, then you should find some other way to give her breastmilk.  That's right: it would be better for your baby to have a healthy wet nurse then to have formula.

Finally, breastmilk has all of these ingredients that science hasn't even figured out yet.  There's no way formula makers can replicate something they don't even know about.  If anyone says that formula is just as good, they're either ignorant or a liar.  It's not just as good.  It's artificial baby milk.  Would you want
to eat artificial food?

Reason #8:   "I have to go back to work.  Pumping sounds too hard."
I'm not going to lie to you.  Pumping can be hard.  Some of us are great at it, and others of us are "pump challenged."  But nursing is extremely important for working moms because of that extra-immunity boost for their babies.  You are less likely to need to take time-off to care for a sick baby if you're breastfeeding.  An added bonus:  if you ever feel the teentsiest bit jealous or insecure of your baby's child care provider, you'll be able to remind yourself that breastmilk from the source is something special that only you can deliver.  Prepare yourself before hand -- by finding good information and support,  and by getting a quality
breastpump -- and you'll do fine.

Reason #9:   "After nine months of pregnancy, I want my body back!"

What can I say, that's motherhood.  Face it, privacy and personal space are a thing of the past but it's not as awful as you might think.  It's hard to understand this before you actually become a parent but you are going to love this little being more than I can even tell you.  It might gross you out to have someone else's baby drooling all over you or wiping his nose on your pants, but when it comes to your own child, you really won't mind.  So even if breastfeeding sounds a little too intimate to you now, don't expect to feel that way when it's your own little munchkin you're holding.

Reason #10:   "I hear breastfeeding makes your breasts sag."

If your breasts are sagging, blame pregnancy. And hey, now that you've got saggy breasts you might as well use them.

Reason #11:   "I don't think I can nurse in public."

Nursing discreetly in public is a skill that requires practice.  However, if you choose the right wardrobe, you can nurse your baby everywhere and no one will ever know.  Yes, older babies can sometimes grab your shirt and flash a little more skin than you intended but you can always invest in some nursing clothes.  They have neatly designed openings that can cut down on some of those unintended displays.

If the whole idea of public feedings terrifies you, then you can go someplace else (another room, to your car, wherever) to nurse.  Then again, you could get radical and challenge your notion that  it's not all right to nurture your baby in public.  After all, no one expects you to bottle feed a baby in the toilet, so why do some people want to send nursing mothers to the bathroom?

Reason #12:   "I want to be able to eat or drink whatever I want."

When it comes to food, you probably won't have to give up anything.  Some babies are extra-sensitive and may have bouts of colic if you have cow's milk in your diet; others may have trouble with certain vegetables (onion and broccoli are two my friend had to eliminate).  But there are plenty of babies that have no problems whatsoever.

If you're looking forward to getting your morning coffee routine going again then you'll be pleased to hear that most babies don't have problems with caffeine either.  Just monitor your little one while you reintroduce caffeine to your diet.

If you want to return to a lifestyle that includes the occasional alcoholic drink, you can talk to a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader toget an understanding of how long it takes for alcohol to get through your system and into your breastmilk.  Then you can pump and dump for that feeding and offer your baby some breastmilk you pumped the day before.

If you're told by your health care provider that you must wean in order to take a certain kind of medication, you should talk to a lactation consultant first.  Doctors don't always know which medicines are compatible with breastfeeding and often recommend weaning even when it's not necessary.  Or they may not bother to find out whether a similar drug that you can take while nursing might do the job just as well.

In short, you don't have to feel deprived because you're a nursing mother.

Reason #13:   "I'm totally turned off by all of the breastfeeding extremists and it makes me want to run straight to the formula aisle."

Nobody said you have to hang out with us, we just want you to nurse your baby.  However you feel about the self-proclaimed lactivists, your baby still deserves optimal nutrition.  Do your own research.  Even the formula companies will tell you:  Breast is best.

Reason #14:   "You breastfeeding fanatics just want to feel superior to those of us who don't want to nurse and you're trying to make us feel guilty! "

If you want to feel guilty, go right ahead.  I just think that you deserve the facts which is more than I can say for the formula companies.  They spend millions of dollars to get you to believe that synthetic baby milk is a safe, convenient, nutritious choice for your child.  I'm trying to even the score a little by using this teensy-tiny little article to tell you that breastmilk is better.  Your child will be healthier, happier, and smarter if you nurse.  You'll be healthier too since breastfeeding reduces your risk of breast cancer.

Reason #15:   "OK, when it comes right down to it, I don't think I can do it.  My sister, sister-in-law, best friend, cousin, aunt, mother, grandmother, co-worker and the lady who lives down the street all tried to breastfeed and they said it was a nightmare and impossible and a complete waste of time."

Sadly, we all know someone who tried and couldn't breastfeed.  Many of us
have our breastfeeding efforts sabotaged early in our nursing relationships.  Maybe we were (incorrectly) told that our babies needed a bottle because it was taking too long for our milk to come in.  Maybe our babies grew too accustomed to their pacifiers and got confused when offered a real nipple instead of one made of rubber.  Maybe we had problems with positioning and never got it all straightened out.   Our healthcare providers are often poorly trained when it comes to breastfeeding and advice offered by a well-meaning obgyn or pediatrician isn't always correct.  Bad information, not inability, is likely what caused problems for your sister, sister-in-law, best friend, cousin, aunt, mother,
grandmother, co-worker and the lady who lives down the street.

Remember, too, that the formula companies have invested a lot of money to help you fail.  From the free samples they send when your baby arrives, to their commericials with chortling infants eagerly accepting a bottle.  If you need motivation during those early weeks, just think about how those formula companies are foaming at the mouth to get you to buy their artificial baby milk, how they'll be pleased as punch to see your baby get second best because it means more profit for them.  Make you angry?  It should.  Refuse to give them your money.

If you educate yourself before hand and find out where to get good help should you need it, then chances are that you'll be a success.  Do you hear that?  If you want to do this you can.  And you should want to do this.  So call La Leche League; your friendly, neighborhood lactation consultant; or the loving person who gave you this article and start learning about breastfeeding before your baby arrives.   You won't regret it.

Would you like to hear more of what Dawn has to say?  She is our resident Feminist Mama!